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Beto Dealmeida's avatar

Government Time Travel Policy

A bureaucratic song

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Liner Notes

This is my triple challenge song:

First, the #fake-band-impersonation challenge that I created: choose a random band from the "Fake band A is for ABBA" thread and write a song as them. I got "Varying Degrees of Legs" from @tjfafterdark, so I decided to record myself stomping my foot on my wooden deck, and have many layers combined together.

Second, the #cowcore challenge[archived]: write a song where the cowbell is the spotlight of the song. I drove all the way to the closest hardware store just so I could buy a cowbell for this song!

Third, the "Government Time Travel Policy Writing" challenge, which is not even a challenge, just a weird thread. But I love the concept, so I wanted to write some rules that would show up in a government time travel policy. The first two policies were suggested by friends on Twitter, the others I just made up on the spot.

Finally, this song also meets the requirement for "Challenge to do three or more challenges in one song".


Attention: if you travel back in time and earn income, but did not report it that year, you must file an amending form and pay taxes.

Attention: all items brought forward or backwards in time must be checked through time travel customs. Thank you.

Attention: traveling with sports manuals is strictly prohibited. Thank you.

Attention: all travelers must have their memory wiped of all knowledge of bitcoin. Thank you.

Attention: flight number 6176 is leaving 2 hours ago. Thank you.

Attention: all travelers younger than 12 years must be accompanied by their future self. Thank you.


You can engage with this post on FAWM, Twitter or Webmention.

headfirstonly's avatar
headfirstonly replied on FAWM on 2021-02-24:

This is the perfect "last week of FAWM" track - it's daring and madly inventive and stuffed full of crazy ideas and really entertaining. And the gags in the lyrics got me laughing, too: this is exactly the sort of bonkers bureaucratic rigmarole that we'd have to go through if time travel ever was invented.

celineellis's avatar
celineellis replied on FAWM on 2021-02-24:

Boom - really love the creativity here. And smashing 3 challenges in one? (I’ve just seen the challenge to do 3 in 1 so technically you completed 4!) superb!! I love the stomps, really well laid with the interspersed cowbell. And the comedy value in the spoken lyrics is awesome!!!

mardeycranbleson's avatar

Nicely done! You use the sparse instrumentation to great effect.

cts's avatar
cts replied on FAWM on 2021-02-24:

Wow, dude. How cool is this? Creative on several levels - ambitious undertaking but you tackled it rather effortlessly from what I hear. The last line, well...actually all of the lines are cleverly used to reflect the times we're in. Nice work!

santadharma's avatar
santadharma replied on FAWM on 2021-03-03:

Love the concept and the lyrics. Cowbell is awesome.

nancyrost's avatar
nancyrost replied on FAWM on 2021-03-03:

I love how you sound like you're trying hard not to crack up! The lyrics are mind-bending, hilarious and awesome. Are there cows in the airport?

aeye's avatar
aeye replied on FAWM on 2021-03-03:

This turned out great! I love the PA announcer like you’re walking through a Time travel hub.

phoenixash's avatar
phoenixash replied on FAWM on 2021-03-03:

So, weirdly cinematic as you can clearly see the scene where in the timeport the people are stomping around trying to get to their gates and the bells keeps issuing alarms. Loved the concept.

cblack's avatar
cblack replied on FAWM on 2021-03-03:

Ahahahaha! Love the humour and the cowbell! I could easily see this appearing as a hidden track at the end of an album. It's great!

calumcarlyle's avatar
calumcarlyle replied on FAWM on 2021-03-10:

Quirky. Feet and cowbells. Definitely an odd choice of instruments for a band. I was waiting for the hoover solo!

dzdandcunfsd's avatar
dzdandcunfsd replied on FAWM on 2021-03-10:

I listened to this one earlier, but must have been on phone as I see I didn't comment 😉 The stomps and cowbell actually does a really great effect of accompaniment on this. I picture all these people being herded like cattle through the buerocracy that would be the time travel ports, only I've never heard a PA announcment that was so understandable 🤣 Some pretty good rules to follow here! Especially that sports manual one, we don't need another Biff incident.

standup's avatar
standup replied on FAWM on 2021-03-17:

This is great. Time travel customs? What a nightmare job. Travelers must be accompanied by their future self, also! Nice cowbell. Thank you.